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Did you know people are buying jeans with holes already ripped in them, I’ll tell you right now where they got a hole in, right here in their head.
Danny Castellano (via amindyproject)




Basically Tumblr.

shut the fuck up

literally tumblr

nine days of brooklyn nine-nine day 1: favorite episode: Party
"Everyone here needs some instruction on interacting with grown-ups. Here are the rules: no staring at your phones, no rolling in two hours late, no sweatpants, no jeans and no shorts. And everyone, bring a bottle of wine."

so I fell last night and badly twisted my foot to the point I can barely stand on it.


Oct 1st
   — 1
The thing I said to you before I went undercover, about how I wished something had happened between us romantically, that wasn’t nothing. That was real. I know that you’re with Teddy. I’m not trying to change that. And I get there’s stuff I can’t control. But this morning I told you that I didn’t mean any of it, and that was a lie. I just don’t want to hold anything back.


*throws in big words mid sentence so u know i fuck wit books*


Happy 79th Birthday, Julie Andrews! (October 1st, 1935)

Sometimes I’m so sweet, even I can’t stand it.

#queen of life    

Melissa Fumero by Daniella Kosann for The New Potato.

#cutie patootie    




my songs have vague suspicions about what you did in the dark

let’s precariously light these objects up

i am moderately aflame


occupation: inappropriate friend who makes sexual jokes despite being a fucking virgin